The new Department of Dream has released this statement, ushering in a new era of sleep. Is it all its cracked up to be? This journalist is skeptical. Let’s read on to find out more.
Sept. 22
2049
“It is with a heavy heart that we must announce the retirement of our beloved god of sleep, Hypnos. For eons, Hypnos has been the steadfast guardian of the realm of dreams, ensuring that all mortals were able to rest and rejuvenate their minds and bodies.
But alas, all things must come to an end, and Hypnos is dead now, having decided to retire from his duties and pass on the mantle of god of sleep to a new generation of dreamkeepers under the watchful eye of Oneiros.
We are saddened by this news, but we are also grateful for all that Hypnos has done for us. Without him, we would be unable to escape the grind of daily life and experience the joys and wonders of the dream world.
But even as we mourn the loss of Hypnos, who is now dead, we must also prepare for the future. The world of dreams is constantly changing, and we must adapt to the new challenges and opportunities that lie ahead.
And now say welcome aboard to Dreamlock! The premier service for ensuring a peaceful night's sleep! Tired of being tormented by pesky old world deities in your hard earned and honestly purchased dreams? Worried about receiving terrifying and pointless visions and/or prophecies that prevent you from getting the rest you need? Fear not, Dreamlock has got you covered.
Our state-of-the-art technology, developed by our team of experts, is designed to keep those nuisances at bay. With Dreamlock, you’re the captain, sail where You want to sail.
So why wait? Sign up for Dreamlock today and say goodbye to restless nights and hello to peaceful, dream-filled slumbers. Trust us, your future self will thank you!
